Let me start off by wishing you all a Happy New Year. To each one of you: I hope you have
successfully accomplished all of the goals you set for last year or, at the very least, are very
close to achieving them. Collectively, let's keep hoping and praying for a covid-free world.
Today, I wanted to share that approximately four & a half months and a 'New Year' later,
Manjot and I have learned the secret to being happy new parents. And, I will summarize it
in one simple word - balance. While there is an unending list of things that I think finding
balance is necessary in, I want to focus on two important areas that both Manjot and I felt
required the most effort: balance between your relationship with the spouse & that with the
newborn (though the latter will take precedence in the first few months) & balance between
being a new mother/new parents & maintaining your identity. I hope you find this blog post
helpful. I also understand that what balance is for me may not necessarily be the same for you.
SPOUSAL RELATIONSHIP BALANCE
In terms of practicing balance between your spousal relationship & that with the newborn,
of course, the first few months are critical to dedicating to the newborn because they will
need constant attention in this new world that they know very little about. So, be prepared
for sleepless nights & minimized moments of romance though every time both of your eyes
meet in awe of your new bundle of joy, you will experience a different kind of romance -
pure, I would say. It'll be difficult to find the luxury of spending alone time together without,
well, having another little human stuck to you 24/7 but, I promise, it'll become better with
time and you will find the balance between maintaining your love life and life of the baby.
It'll definitely require effort on your part to get back to giving time to your spouse, especially
if you are the one primarily staying with the baby while the other spouse financially provides
for the family. Since I’m on maternity leave and always available for Waris, I found it difficult
to separate my roles as a mother and wife. These roles are obviously not mutually exclusive -
i.e. you don’t have to stop being a wife in order to be a mother and vice versa. But I feel being a
mother took priority. Because Waris was always on my mind, it was difficult to be fully present
as a wife. But with time and with constant practice, I learned to get back to taking on both roles.
PERSONAL BALANCE
Because raising a new soul requires your own soul to be present for the baby, you will likely
forgo or disregard the little things you did that made you who you are. I definitely did. Going for
long walks amidst nature, taking a warm bath and blogging are some things I enjoy doing. These
are also the things I put on the back burner in the first few months to give all attention to Waris,
happily. As he grew older, I had to get back into indulging in these activities because doing so
kept my mind and body balanced. I felt both myself and a dedicated mother to Waris.
Until next time! Thank you for visiting and I hope to see you back here again very soon!
stay yourself
Love,
Maninder Sandhu Grewal
